Growing Pains?!

Experiencing growing pains around our house lately. The kind where teenage angst and attitudes are flying left and right. UGH! I think Caragan is definitely out of the honeymoon phase of settling into her new family. I think she is comfortable enough to buck the 'wallace system' of dictatorship. LOL. We have had some rough moments that aren't exactly the norm for our day to day routine. Not sure, why it's all happening now, in particular...but it's happening all the same. She can't tell me why either. She knows we love her and that being part of a family means you take care of one another even when we may not like your attitude of the day. I tell her, we do whatever we have to to move through the good and the bad. There's no condition on our love for her, ever. We love her even when she's copping an attitude, even though we might not like her ways too much. Those are growing pains, to me anyways.

School is ending and with that changes in routine and also a lil nervousness about leaving what she has adjusted to since home from China, a year and a half ago. Caragan rounded out the year with all A's and B's and her 8th grade graduation is tonight. She begins High School in the fall, where the grades begin to count for college entry. We have made our kids believe that college isn't optional...so we are pushing her to learn more vocabulary and become more proficient in writing and reading especially. I had offered her an incentive to complete her Rosetta Stone level 3 by the end of the school year. She hasn't met the goal, though. We got a tutor that she spends a few hours with a week to enhance her writing and reading skills. She is reading on about a fourth grade level in English, so we still have a ways to go. She is not really excited about High School at all. That is worrying me a lil. I know she will love it, when she gets used to it.

KateLin, my sweet China Doll, just graduated from Kindergarten. She is reading already. Wooohooo! So proud of her. She was definitely meant to be my baby because she requires lots of attention. She is swimming like a fish in the pool...and also has recently took on learning to ride her bike. She can still be a timid lil somebody...and when she is, I have flashbacks of my withdraw lil girl while we were still in China. Mind you, that only lasts for short moments. She is very much outgoing when it comes to what she will tackle and wants to constantly be on the go. She's been home for 3.5 years...WOW...has it truly been that long?? Time flies when you have four to keep you busy. My lil Yangzhou Princess has come a long...long way.

Logan is a rising 7th grader and as tall as I am. Man!! That kid needs to slow down. He is growing steadily...and his voice is changing too. He got about several awards on Awards Day at school for highest English average, one of the top AR points in Reading (565), Spelling Bee Top 3, all A's the entire year...! So very proud of my big boy. Hard to imagine that he's almost a teenager. I watch him with KateLin and realize daily that he and she will always be close. He looks out for her, and does it well. I think having a lil Sister has definitely stretched his character a great deal. He is my witty young man...does have a crazy bone like his Mom.

Christian will be a 4th grader. I was so proud that he has made all A's and B's, for the entire year. Honestly though, he would rather be helping somebody. This child has a compassionate side a mile wide. He is growing fast too, but not quiet at the rate his brother is though. Thank goodness, cause I can't keep them in clothes. LOL. He just learned to dive in the swimming pool. He is getting really good at his RipStick too. That is a type of two wheeled skateboard that we discovered while in China. Some kids were using them in the park in Guangzhou. It takes a great deal of balance. He keeps practicing. Still loves his pups to death too. This child is also my animal lover.

My life is definitely never dull at all. These four keep me busy. I love it...but Whew!! it wears me out mentally sometimes keeping up with all. I wouldn't change it for the world though.

Just Breathe ~! Ahhhhhh!

I think the hardest part of the human psyche is training ourselves to think about all the positive in our lives instead of all the negative we have had to endure. I haven't had a bad life....I know this, so maybe I can't really say how I'd feel if I had had to deal with lots of tragic loss of life, or even property. I do know that thinking positive is a choice. We can change our attitude by a simple...I am gonna make myself believe that there is good in every bad situation. Like it or not, our experiences mold us. They change us...sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse. Growth isn't really optional...it just happens. If I think about the good changes rather than the bad, suddenly a bad situation doesn't cause me to have a bad day, week or ever year. I can be happy even if it's only a lil happiness amongst the pain.

I'm really frustrated today. I have had a bad day, so blogging is like therapy for me. I don't get it!! People that think about and dwell on all the bad day in and day out. They forget to breathe...yeah simply take a deep breathe and remember that breathe alone was a blessing because the other option would be for me to be dead. I am a girl with her glass half full, not half empty. I force myself to find happiness in the bleakest of situations. I want to be remembered as being fun, happy, being full of laughter and knowing how to have a good time thru my hard times. Negativity won't allow for that, it robs us of our sunshine. UGH!! My life without sunshine, wouldn't be much of a life to me. My quality of life is directly proportional to my sunshine. HA! It would be dull without the sunshine. I choose sunshine over the darkness anytime. I will look for the light when I am in the darkness...it's there always (the silver lining), I just have to choose to look for it. Sometimes I will have to look harder and really search for it.

I'm gonna take a deeeeeep breath and remember and feel the SUNSHINE. Tomorrow is a new day with great possibilities...but today isn't over yet either. :)

Simply Loved

It's Mother's Day! I feel like I have been given the greatest four gifts on earth, of course...as most Mother's do feel that way about their babies. I guess most would also think, I was given two different types of blessings because I have adopted twice. Ya see, one other Moma had to give up her baby so that I could be blessed with my KateLin. With Caragan, her Moma died of eye cancer and she lost her life so that I might have her precious daughter. These two blessings weren't born of my womb, but of my heart. To me, although they came to live in my love in a different fashion, they are no less my very own. My sons are flesh of my flesh. I tell each of them that my love grew from Logan. He taught me about what it was like to care for and love another human being, because I loved him so much, I wanted to love another...my Christian. Because I was blessed times two with boys, I wanted a precious little girl. KateLin's orphanage visit yielded yet another blessing that took us back to China for our Caragan. I watch them and I am amaZed at the blessings that have been poured out upon me. I see how each of them act silly and crazy, like me...truly love life and laughter. I giggled as KateLin playing air guitar during praise and worship this morning at church and as she sang into her sucker microphone. This is my child...she knows how to have fun and I hope she will always have that zest for a very happy, happy life.

Yesterday, I took my two oldest, Logan and Caragan to the movies and shopping at the mall. We watched Prom, although not without resistance from Logan. LOL. At the end of the movie, Logan announced loudly, I am sooo glad that that torture is over. The girls in front of us, just kackled at my crazy boy that really has my sense of humor. Caragan and I had a few moments yesterday where I had the opportunity to remind her that I was so glad that she wanted to be adopted, even though she had biological family still in China. I reminded her that she is loved unconditionally and that I am so blessed to have her in my life. The radio was talking about Mother's Day and what spawned the conversation was that they asked how much you loved your Moma....she said "LOTs". I smiled with tears in my eyes. Christian lavished me with an early gift that he bought all on his own last week at the Relay for Life event. He bought me a vase of flowers. He is my thoughtful child. They all are, but this child has such compassion and such a heart for other's that his sweetness really amazes me. All these little things, make me feel...to put it simply...loved. I am a better person, because these four kiddos are in my life...that I am allowed to love them, and raise them.

As they woke me up this morning and crowded in my bedroom and spent ten priceless minutes with me...I kept thinking...can I freeze this moment? Can I hold it in my head even though I know it's fleeting? I kissed them all, opened my presents.....but the greatest gift of all was just having them close, healthy, at home and that I felt their love. I got some cool cards and presents, some store bought and some homemade....the most precious gift I have ever been given though were these four little souls that I get to adore, love and cherish...all my life.

I can't post this without mentioning the lady that made all this happen...My MOMMY! She was the one that loved me and showed me how. She was the perfect example of compassion, kindness, caring...and affection. She blessed me by loving me selflessly and unconditionally. I love me some ELAINE RHYNE. :)