Through our adoption processes I use to blog alot. I got out of the habit and I can tell it in my everyday outlook. I tend to post only positive things here, but truthful things. It forced me to figure out the good in every bad situation. Lately, life has me bogged down in not looking so hard for the silver lining in the bad stuff. This lead me here...to blog. It's a type of therapy for me. Getting my thoughts down on the page, whether anyone reads them or not. It helps me. I think that sometimes other's find solace in knowing your life isn't perfect, that you experience good and bad days, just like the next person. To me...true success is weathering a storm, finding the silver lining in the greyest of clouds in said storm, and coming through the experience changed but not reduced by it. If you can learn from bad things, and grow as an individual then maybe you've learned exactly what God was trying to teach you. He is always molding our character and shaping us into the people He wants us to become.
The most inspirational stories are of people who have shared where they've been and how far they've come during their storm's of life. The little girl that had cancer that instead of asking for a wish from the Make A Wish** Foundation, she asked for everyone else's wish to come true. The Dad that tells about his child's fight from Cancer and the battle that's ongoing....to the other Dad that his child has just been diagnosed. The stories provide strength to others, encouraging them to keep moving through, because there's hope, always hope. I used to be a person that would share, somewhere in the craziness of life, I lost that part of me. The passion subsided in sharing my story of adoption. I still post blurbs regularly about adoption...but nothing is more powerful than my story. I have to figure out how to rekindle that passion for life, for other's. You never know who might be reading this and who might be inspired to share their story.
6.18.2010
6.06.2010
For All I Can't Do
We often focus on the negative stuff in life and quickly forget about all the positive. We set out on a journey, over three years ago. After many different twists and turns, here we are...in the midst of the blessing. There's so much I can't control for my girls and boys. I can't shelter them from all the hurt and disappointment in this world. I can't fix every little thing in their lives and always make it all better. I can help them learn to focus on the blessing in every bad situation. Lately, I had lost that ability for myself. I was on the downward spiral of thinking...I can't fix this, I can't make this all better. The truth is that I wasn't called to do that for any of them. I was called to love them through the pain and heartache and even disappointment of life. Suddenly the helplessness of all I can't do...is put in it's place and changed to...but I can handle loving them consistently everyday, no matter what.
I can find the blessing in a statement from Caragan 'I like it here'. She said that the other day. Her English continues to grow rapidly. She was sitting on a porch in a rocking chair. We had just enjoyed a family meal together and we did alot of laughing...joking with one another. She had spoken to some of her old friends in China earlier in the week...and I think she was reminded about where she has been and how far she has come. I thought she meant she liked the porch...turns out she meant she liked her new life here with us. WoW! I so needed to hear that. It doesn't matter that I can't fix it all. What matters is that she is right were she wants to be. The other details will work themselves out....one day at a time.
Caragan continues to interact more with her friends here...on FB and even when we go to events around town. She is plugged into our life together here...and that makes her Mommy really happy. She is about half way through her Rosetta Stone program for English and we have set a goal for her to have completed it by Summer's end. One of her friends comes home from China with her Forever Family in the next few months. Hopefully, she will get to see her by the end of the year...that makes her really excited. These girls need this bond to continue for a lifetime. She has told her friend that she really likes it here with her family, hoping that she will feel more at ease about coming to America.
Summertime is bringing so many firsts for Caragan...putt-putt (she got a hole in one!), concerts, many beach trips with time in the Ocean, Pool, etc. She loves the beach just like the rest of her family. We have to teach her to swim. We hope to go to an Amusement Park and a Water Park and experience lots of other things with her this summer.
KateLin continues to thrive, although she is going through a phase that can be difficult at times, she just plays her options. LOL. She just got through with her very first dance/tumbling recital. She was exquisite. I teared up thinking about her Gotcha Day and how with withdrawn she was from life. Now she's this little socialite that loves going and doing whatever she possibly can. The more attention and craziness the better for her. She likes dancing and loved being in tumbling. You could tell that she loved what she was doing.
Logan got about 5 awards at awards day at school the other day. He is now a rising 6th grader, which means he changes to the Middle School next year. He has grown so much this year, about 4 inches...WOW! He is as tall as his Nana. :)) I am watching him become a young man, instead of a little boy. He continues to show his wit and humor. I say he gets the intelligence from his Dad, but the humor from me. LOL.
Christian is growing and changing so much too. He really loves his sisters! He is always full of energy, but lately I can tell he channels it more into what he likes and wants to do. He will eat us out of house and home but stays skinny as a rail. Wish I had that metabolism. Ha! He's grown about 2 inches this year too. He did so good in school, I was so proud of him. He's a rising 3rd grader next year.
All my kids made A's and B's on their report cards. They all had straight A averages for the year. How cool is that!!! Makes a Mommy so very Proud. :))
So I guess....for all I can't do for my kids...they prove to me daily that I don't have to do it all. Some things just take care of themselves. I need to focus on all I have done and can do for them instead of what I can't control.
I can find the blessing in a statement from Caragan 'I like it here'. She said that the other day. Her English continues to grow rapidly. She was sitting on a porch in a rocking chair. We had just enjoyed a family meal together and we did alot of laughing...joking with one another. She had spoken to some of her old friends in China earlier in the week...and I think she was reminded about where she has been and how far she has come. I thought she meant she liked the porch...turns out she meant she liked her new life here with us. WoW! I so needed to hear that. It doesn't matter that I can't fix it all. What matters is that she is right were she wants to be. The other details will work themselves out....one day at a time.
Caragan continues to interact more with her friends here...on FB and even when we go to events around town. She is plugged into our life together here...and that makes her Mommy really happy. She is about half way through her Rosetta Stone program for English and we have set a goal for her to have completed it by Summer's end. One of her friends comes home from China with her Forever Family in the next few months. Hopefully, she will get to see her by the end of the year...that makes her really excited. These girls need this bond to continue for a lifetime. She has told her friend that she really likes it here with her family, hoping that she will feel more at ease about coming to America.
Summertime is bringing so many firsts for Caragan...putt-putt (she got a hole in one!), concerts, many beach trips with time in the Ocean, Pool, etc. She loves the beach just like the rest of her family. We have to teach her to swim. We hope to go to an Amusement Park and a Water Park and experience lots of other things with her this summer.
KateLin continues to thrive, although she is going through a phase that can be difficult at times, she just plays her options. LOL. She just got through with her very first dance/tumbling recital. She was exquisite. I teared up thinking about her Gotcha Day and how with withdrawn she was from life. Now she's this little socialite that loves going and doing whatever she possibly can. The more attention and craziness the better for her. She likes dancing and loved being in tumbling. You could tell that she loved what she was doing.
Logan got about 5 awards at awards day at school the other day. He is now a rising 6th grader, which means he changes to the Middle School next year. He has grown so much this year, about 4 inches...WOW! He is as tall as his Nana. :)) I am watching him become a young man, instead of a little boy. He continues to show his wit and humor. I say he gets the intelligence from his Dad, but the humor from me. LOL.
Christian is growing and changing so much too. He really loves his sisters! He is always full of energy, but lately I can tell he channels it more into what he likes and wants to do. He will eat us out of house and home but stays skinny as a rail. Wish I had that metabolism. Ha! He's grown about 2 inches this year too. He did so good in school, I was so proud of him. He's a rising 3rd grader next year.
All my kids made A's and B's on their report cards. They all had straight A averages for the year. How cool is that!!! Makes a Mommy so very Proud. :))
So I guess....for all I can't do for my kids...they prove to me daily that I don't have to do it all. Some things just take care of themselves. I need to focus on all I have done and can do for them instead of what I can't control.
4.01.2010
The Father Says "I DO"
This weekend we'll celebrate the start of Kadee and Jason's lives together as one. Kadee is Lance's little sister. We are all really close and we also have the joy of living beside her. Kadee's life started much like my daughter's. They will always have a special bond because of the Miracle of Adoption. This weekend, we'll officially adopt another member into our family....Jason. He crawled into our lives when we weren't looking and has been finding a place in our hearts every since. We love him like a brother, uncle and close friend already. We are not losing Kadee, we are gaining Jason. We feel really excited about celebrating with them this weekend as they exchange vows and join together in holy matrimony.
I guess this time makes me reflect on relationships and how it was in the beginning of my own marriage. Time changes things, in good and bad ways. Lance and I have grown up together. We've grown a family increasing in numbers by 4. Each addition has brought new joys and new normals...and even hardships. Each time we chose to love one another and even the child through it all. LOVING IS A CHOICE. I have learned this and that LOVE WILL HEAL WHAT YOU NEVER IMAGINED COULD BE HEALED. I think the most successful relationships balance one another, by providing what the other needs to feel loved. If you can figure out what your mate needs to feel loved and provide that for them, even if a little work is involved, I think you can make a relationship work. And if all else fails, start back at the beginning and remember why you fell in love with one another. I know all relationships don't work, and some must end. My advice there, having never been through that before, mind you...would be that you need to forgive yourself before you can forgive others. Every single divorce happened because not one but two people couldn't make it work. You are the only person you can control. You are a work in progress. The "sin" isn't in the failure of the relationship, it lies in not learning and growing because of the failure.
We hope that Kadee and Jason will live long and happy lives together. We need another baby on the hill...all mine are grown it seems.
I guess this time makes me reflect on relationships and how it was in the beginning of my own marriage. Time changes things, in good and bad ways. Lance and I have grown up together. We've grown a family increasing in numbers by 4. Each addition has brought new joys and new normals...and even hardships. Each time we chose to love one another and even the child through it all. LOVING IS A CHOICE. I have learned this and that LOVE WILL HEAL WHAT YOU NEVER IMAGINED COULD BE HEALED. I think the most successful relationships balance one another, by providing what the other needs to feel loved. If you can figure out what your mate needs to feel loved and provide that for them, even if a little work is involved, I think you can make a relationship work. And if all else fails, start back at the beginning and remember why you fell in love with one another. I know all relationships don't work, and some must end. My advice there, having never been through that before, mind you...would be that you need to forgive yourself before you can forgive others. Every single divorce happened because not one but two people couldn't make it work. You are the only person you can control. You are a work in progress. The "sin" isn't in the failure of the relationship, it lies in not learning and growing because of the failure.
We hope that Kadee and Jason will live long and happy lives together. We need another baby on the hill...all mine are grown it seems.
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