Should've Been Mine

Little things tell me that Caragan finally feels at home with her life here with us. I think the bonding and attachment is complete. Some people in the adoption community will tell you with older child adoption that sometimes bonding never fully happens and attachment is never complete. I can say for sure, she loves us, we love her...and we all benefit from our family unit. She is thriving, she trusts, which is HUGE ..in and of, itself. Caragan knows we will take care of her needs and most of her wants. She is spoiled, and I think she even realizes how fortunate she is to have lots of the things she wants. I never expected her to appreciate us...but I think she does. The way I know, you might ask? I know because a few days ago, she said, Moma...I should have been your's since birth. She made my heart soar. This beautiful young lady is so much like me, it is very apparent that she was meant to be mine. She loves music, is full of happiness, likes lots of the same foods as I do, loves her hair, she is silly and fun...and the list goes on. She even gets quiet when she isn't feelin the best or is down about something. Yep, I can admit it...she has some of my ODD qualities as well. She is quick to help other's.

Truth is that, she should've been mine from the beginning...but that's not the plan that God had for her life. I told her so when she said that to me. I told her, all the hard times she had to endure in China, made her who she is today. I don't know why she had to lose her parents in death, but God had a much bigger plan for her life. I told her it might have been to help another child, teenager or an adult get through what she has had to endure. You never know how He will use you in someone else's life. I do wish I could have sheltered her from all the bad things. It brings tears to my eyes to know she lost both parents by age 12. She still talks to her Aunt often and we are getting a care package together to send to her soon also. I want to make her a photobook for her to keep of Caragan. I am very thankful that she still has relatives in China. We consider her Aunt, part of our family as well.

I haven't blogged in a while. Tsk! Tsk!! Life gets busy and I just don't take the time to record it all. I need to do better...I know!