SomeOne to Look out for YOU

Many nights as I waited for my girls to come home from China, I would sit and ponder if they were cold, hungry, and even worse being exploited in any number of ways. I felt less at ease with KateLin because I knew she was still really young. She had no voice to speak for herself, no way to even 'find' food should she be hungry, or ways to seek a blanket for warmth. I will NEVER know, of course if she was harmed or cold, or hungry. I probably am better off not knowing, actually, because I believe that she wasn't cared for the way I would have cared for during that time had she been with me anyway...the other stuff would be too hard for me to hear. How could she be taken care of like I would have cared for her with a ratio of 12 to one?

I have been questioning Caragan over the last week about different aspects of her life in China. She had begun to mention different things to prompt this but also another Mom that adopted questioned several things one of her son's mentioned to her. I specifically asked Caragan and how she was punished while she resided in the orphanage. She said one time that she was placed in a room, and as she described it, I actually got sick on my stomach. She was put in a room with no furniture....no bed, no chairs etc. The room had padded walls and no windows. It was an empty room. The door had a small window. The pads on the walls were blue. The way she described it, seemed alot like a solitary confinement room to me. She was being punished for listening to a little radio she had purchased during school. She wasn't caught listening to the radio, a friend told on her. She was placed in the room for two hours. Seemed like a rather harsh punishment to me for a young teenager. She told me it was hard to be 'good' in China. That she was considered a bad girl. I asked her what she did that made her 'bad'. I asked did she fight, or lie, or cheat or steal. She said NO!! nothing like that. I asked her if she thought that they considered her bad because they expected her to be perfect at any and everything. She said Yes. I told her that was a high expectation to have to live up to. I told her it was impossible. I told her that we believe in tolerance. Making mistakes is how we learn and grow and become better people. I told her that messing up was something that was going to happen, but that she should always try to learn from her mistakes and try her best to do better the next time. She said she was glad that she wasn't with us when she was five because she was BAD! I have a feeling that like any child she went through her phases of tantrums, and tough times. I told her that I thought that she was a GREAT kid now. She cried. I cried too! She said she didn't think she was a great kid at all. I asked her why? She couldn't really say. I told her that I thought she had been through, in her short life, more than most people go through in 60 years. I told her that she had to give herself a little bit of a break. I mean, she lost her Birth Mom at age 5. I reminded her that KateLin is that age now. I reminded her that she lost her Dad at 12...went to live at an orphanage, had come to America with 5 strangers. I mean, really?~!!! I don't think I'd be as good of a kid as she is having gone through all of that.

We also talked about money and belongings today. Caragan said that alot of times the teachers/nannies would take there things, money, etc and not give them back to them. I was asking her specifically about the carepackages that we sent to her. I wanted to make sure she got all the items that we sent. She did in fact get the items. She did tell me that if Mr. Ellzey (another family that was adopting) hadn't brought the items to her she wouldn't have been able to keep the MP3 player we sent to her. I think that is sad. These kids finally are getting nice things to call their own, and the teachers don't allow them to keep them. I'm finding out all sorts of details now because she is older and can remember all the things from her orphanage days. I told her that I thought she would have lots of opportunities in America that she wouldn't have had, had she stayed in China. I reminded her that she would never have her belongings taken from her, other than for restriction...and she would always eventually get them back. She keeps her most prized possessions close...and now I know why. She also takes very good care of all she does have, be it clothes, or IPOD or whatever. Family looks out for you! Having a Mom and a Dad means we won't let anyone treat you badly, or take your things. It means you will have all that you NEED. No matter what, we will always look out for YOU.

Caragan and I had lots of laughs today, and we cried and sang and danced. She knows she is loved and that she is exactly where she is supposed to be. I KNOW IT TOO. For this child I had prayed and my prayers were answered.

The Joy of Raising GirlS

My KateLin is such a girlie girl. She loves to fix hair, do nails, and dress up. For this type girl we prayed, after raising boys for 9 years...we soo wanted a girly girl. We got it too. She decided the other night that she wanted to fix my hair. Anyone that knows me knows I'm a freak about my hair. Never the less, I succumbed to her request. Moments later a masterpiece was created. Complete with bows, ponytail holders and clips...my over the top girlie girl did my hair up right. LOL. I was plum beautimoussss. I had to post pics on fb just so everyone could see her hard work. We giggled and laughed and of course we had to have a repeat offense the next night too. I mean, hair like that is really hard to come by. HA! Times like these make me really appreciate the fact that if I hadn't been sensitive to the needs of children around the world, I would have surely missed out on this GREAT blessing of a girlie girl.

We chose China because the little girls are mostly the gender that gets left to be found. They are the least desired sex. Boys are preferred because in their culture the boys take care of the parents in old age...like a social security system. Girls marry and go to live with the man's family. In our culture, it's hard to imagine this mentality. Girls and boys both are equally desired sexes. While waiting to adopt I read lots of literature about the reasons in which these kids are left to be found. The stories were horrible, about ultrasounds being done to check a childs sex as late the seventh month of pregnancy so an abortion could be performed if the child wasn't a boy. Many babies are murdered after being born, smothered in ashes for example. It sends chills to my core, and brings tears to my eyes. I am thankful every single day that KateLin's birthmother chose life for her. As hard as it would be to bundle a baby up and leave her to be found....still she chose life for her.

I will never sugar coat KateLin's beginnings with half truths or misconceptions. On nights that she is fixing my hair....I stop for moments to really marvel at how God planned her life to be so much more than her beginning started out. She is full of life and fun and giggles. Sugar and Spice and everything Nice...and even Sassy. That southern accent is outta place in her little Chinese body...but it makes her unique and Crazy and so much Fun. Y'all would really have to meet her to appreciate her personality. Of course, you could also make a hair appointment and tip the lil Princess too. WE promise to give the proceeds to another family bringing home another lil Princess this summer from China. Our travel mates (for Caragan's adoption) are adopting again....another E. They will add Eliza Kate prayerfully this summer. They already have Enick and Elijah that they adopted when we adopted Caragan...and Emili Su that they adopted just a year prior. Eliza Kate will be their seventh child. We are really excited for them and can't wait to follow their journey back to China. Pssst...don't tell!! but we got a glimpse and she's gorgeous....fingers and toes crossed that all processes go quick!!

Counting My Blessings....One, Two, Three, Four

I had some time to catch up on reading some of favorite adoption blogs this morning. It used to my favorite pasttime while waiting for KateLin and Caragan. It became a hobby, sharing in the joys as well as the tribulations that other families were going through, while raising many kids. It always amaZes me though, the common thread that binds us together. The fact that we chose to adopt. Today, I needed a reminder of how far we've come and how God's hand has always been in it...every step of the way. I truly believe that we are all placed in one another's lives for a specific plan or purpose. Sometimes that plan or purpose is really evident, right off the bat, sometimes it takes years to really discover...WHY?

Raising four certainly has it's challenges day to day. Dealing with teenagers is never dull, for sure. LOL. Dealing with an adopted teenager that is finally starting to trust her surroundings enough to test you, is another issue altogether. It's refreshing knowing she's getting that comfortable here. I can honestly say that...for every hardship there's an equal blessing. I realize daily that life would not be near as sweet without all four of my kids. Each brings excitement, triumphs, joy and happiness to my life. I am thankful for the winding road that lead me to China twice...because I know that that was exactly the path that God would have us take. Life truly isn't about us...it's about helping others, making a difference in other's lives that we have the ability to touch. It's in raising two sweet boys and two sweet girls. I will never be a RICH individual if you check my bank account, but my cup runneth over with love and happiness because of my four kiddos. That is far greater than any amount of money I could ever possibly possess.