What a DIFFERENCE a Year Makes!

I have been thinking back over the past year as we often do on New Year's Eve. Caragan has been home a year now and I could tell that she enjoyed her Christmas very much. My Dad ask her while celebrating Christmas at our house....what did she think last year during Christmas get together's? She told him she thought we were all so crazy to give so many presents, but she really, really liked it. Seeing her expressions truly warmed my heart this Christmas. The simplest of gifts truly made her overwhelmed with joy. ...a cover for her Ipod, a Pogo stick she didn't even ask for, a new bright yellow pocketbook....and last but not least a ring (as the ultimate surprise). She asked me about a week before Christmas what she was getting. I told her I couldn't tell her, and that it was a surprise. Our conversation quickly drifted to her surprise this summer when she got a new puppy that she still adores named Jackson (Jack-Jack). That puppy is her baby. She thought she was getting another dog...this time a poodle. I told her NO, no more puppies. Silly girl. She was beside herself waiting in eager anticipation of this special surprise gift that 'Santa" would bring for her. The surprise was the ring.. from the Open Heart collection. The idea behind this line of jewelry is to always keep an open heart so that love can flow freely in and out of you. She picked it out and still was none the wiser that that was what her 'special' surprise was that she was getting. You should have seen her expression Christmas morning when she discovered her surprise was the ring. It was PRICELESS....almost as priceless as the day when she got the puppy. Wow!! Those are magical moments that are irreplaceable. This child is amazing. She makes my heart soar, when I think of all she has now and all she went without for years. We take so many things forgranted that we have the pleasure of enjoying every single day. You can tell she relished every gift from money to the Ipod cover and we captured much of it in photos. Last Christmas I think was a bit overwhelming...this Christmas she didn't even want me to take the tree down. And to think I was Bah Hum Buggin and didn't even want to put it up. I learn new and exciting things everyday watching all my kids...but the most precious gifts I didn't get from under a Christmas tree this year. I got to watch Christmas through all four of my kids, and what a true gift that was to be a part of...and to treasure.

KateLin must have pick all her items up twice and looked through her things with great care. Of course she wanted every item opened immediately. I watched her prance around in her pajamas with her new dress up...HIGH HEELS. She had to shake her booty as she tried them all out. I suppose if they aren't dancing shoes they don't pass the test. She was hilarious of course...just like always. She enjoyed learning to YoYo with Caragan and Christian, managing to make it work a few times. She got several things to draw with this Christmas and those were her favorite. She loves to color and draw.

Logan got a Tarheel blanket, some new tennis shoes and some games for his DSi. He also got a Pogo Stick to share with his sister. He was hilarious trying to master the art of po...going. LOL. He kept saying....I can Po...Moma....and I can Go....I just CAN'T POGO! He is so craZy. I love that kid so much. He makes me laugh so much everyday. You never know what crazy thing he will say next. He placed 3rd in the Spelling Bee at his school. I was so proud of him. He misspelled CHIMICHANGA! He and his Uncle Jason decided that it was easier just to spell it T....A....C....O!! Too funny. So now if you asked him how to spell Chimichanga he will tell you TACO. And if you asked him how to spell Taco....he has no problem spelling Chimichanga. Still...to come in third for the whole school was a great feat. He did GREAT!. He is almost done reading all 15 Nominee books for the SC Book Awards Nominee List. This kid is a Phenomenal READER. Gotta love that he loves to read and learn so much. He has a great sense of humor to boot. He and Caragan have really taken off bonding more over the last two months. They pick at one another often. I think going to the same school and interacting more there has made a big difference in them truly bonding as siblings. Logan really hasn't skipped a beat as far as being trumped out of the Oldest slot. I think he enjoys the 'less pressure' of being a MIDDLE kid. His sister will cook him muffins...and he definitely loves that. HA! They have alot of fun, because they are both pretty crazy, silly. It's so much fun to watch them.

Christian got a RipStick for Christmas as his surprise. It is basically a skateboard with two wheels and a bar that connects two platforms for your feet to move back and forth so that you don't have to push at all. It will take some practice to master, but I think once he does, he will love it. He also enjoyed his Yoyo's and Wii game/DSiXL games, and a Spy Cam Helicopter. He was up at midnight...the only one of the four. Santa had just left, wink-wink. He went back to bed for about an hour and then got up to come get in the bed with me Christmas morning. He never does that anymore, but of course I enjoyed the snuggle time with my little heater. It was a treat for me, I didn't complain at all. He loves his sister's dearly, brother too. He never skips a beat in lavishing his sister's with love and affections (sooo my child...ha). He doesn't argue as much with KateLin lately and can be found giving her shoulder rides from time to time. Being a big brother to him comes naturally.

The big surprise that they all got was a new trampoline, as the old one's mat was tearing up where the springs attach. They had to follow a fishing line out of the great room through the dining room, utility room and garage to get outside to their BIG SURPRISE. We knew they would love this gift, cause they had literally worn the other one out. It was fun seeing their faces, because they had no IDEA what was to come. Working for a Christmas gift builds memories to say the least. They won't soon forget that little adventure.

Last year was hurried and overwhelming getting used to our new 'baby' in the house...stumbling over language barriers, strange new surroundings, getting over jetlag and new routines, even adjusting to a new diet for her. All these hard things, like labor pains, have slowly faded away from our short term memories. We have come far, she has come even further. God sure knew what he was doing...planting this seed in our lives. She was meant to be our's, surely as if she had been born to us. She fits right into our family, and no one that meets her can resist her bubbly charm. She is fun and inviting and so CRAZY. I guess she has to be a lil Crazy to fit in with this bunch. What a difference a year truly does make....and she says to her it went by FAST.

Did She Love Me?

I often think about my girl's Birth Parents. I cherish them for the gift they have given to me. My girl's stories are so very different, in that Caragan knew her parents and they are deceased, however KateLin has so many pieces to her life puzzle that she will never fully know. I have never revealed the details because these are her private notes of her life while still in China. I will say that she resided at the orphanage from birth and that she was left to be found. I don't like the term abandoned because it implies that her birth parents didn't want her to be found. In my mind after carrying two full term babies for 10 months in my own womb...that is just impossible for me to fathom. I think any woman that carries a baby inside of her, feeling them kick and hiccup and grow...would have to love the little miracle. After all, they also made the choice to give the child life, while they could have aborted the pregnancy. I am thankful that KateLin's Mom chose to give her life and loved her enough to give birth to her. In years to come I am sure she will asked me this question: Did my Birth Mom love me? I will tell her that I can say without a doubt that she must've because she chose to give her life. She chose to give her up when she couldn't care for her, she loved her enough to leave her so she would be found. I will tell that I can't imagine anyone not loving her. I will tell that I don't know why she had to give her up and I will help her ponder all the possible realities. That maybe she couldn't afford to care for her medical needs, that maybe she already had a child, be it boy or girl. I will help her deal with the fact that she might have been given up just because she was a girl. I won't sugar coat all the hard stuff. I will be here to love her through it all. I will give her comfort when the reality is harsh, I will wipe the tears for the parents she may never know, I will mourn the loss that her parents surely must feel. I will help her focus on all that she does have instead of all the stuff she doesn't have. Most of all I will remind her that she has family here that loves her regardless of her beginnings, that loved her enough to come all the way to China to bring her home. Family that prayed for her countless nights until we could be together forever. Somehow, I just know that wrapping her up in this Moma's love will make it all better. Whatever, I can't help with...she has a cousin and an Aunt that understands it all better than me and will help fill in the gaps. Love conquers many hurts!...it leaps fences and climbs mountains and will heal the heart of a girl that has lost and has found.